Spending time together with your spouse: it’s not optional!

spending time togetherHave you ever given a though how your days are spent?

I bet they go pretty much like this: Your daily work eats the majority of your time (whether you are working at home or you have a day job) and you also have your own personal hobbies that you want to pursue.

In addition you spend time with your family as much as you can and occasionally you want to spend time with your friends too. You might even have a pet which needs dedication as well.

When you look at the previous daily activities, do you think there is something important missing? You got it right, spending time together with your spouse.

Why spending time together is important?

There are many reasons why one-on-one time is important.

  1. You keep your relationship alive
  2. You can listen what’s been on your spouse’s mind lately (and take corrective action if it’s worries)
  3. You both feel happy when you can spend time with the person you love
  4. It gives energy to cope with occasional stressful moments in family life

As you can see, there are many reasons why you want to invest in some one-on-one time.

How to find free time for both of you?

A very common obstacle when spending one-on-one time is – you guessed it – how to find available time? Even if you could arrange your work matters in a way that they are not preventing your mutual time, there is one big thing to solve: How to deal with your kids?

After having a baby, me and my wife have been focusing on the well-being of our son. Although our son is our top priority, we have managed to spend time together with these ways:

  1. Plan in advance

First thing is to plan your time together. Try to find optimum time that suits you both. Based on the plan, you can then make additional arrangements, so that your common time  becomes a reality.

  1. Ask the parents

If you or your spouse’s parents live nearby and they offer their babysitting help, accept it! We have “utilized” our own parents quite a bit and what’s even best – they are happy to assist us in your babysitting needs.

  1. Ask your trusted friends or god parents

Maybe your parents don’t live nearby but your friends or god parents do? Ask them to take care of your baby when you are gone.

  1. Hire a nanny

If either your or your spouse’s parents live nearby or it is not possible to ask your friends/god parents to help you out, you can always hire a nanny.

If you know someone reliable, ask him/her to take care of your child/children when you are spending time together.

  1. Take advantage of nap times

Little children take naps during the afternoon and sometimes those naps can last for hours. For example, our newborn takes naps which last usually from two to three hours.

Although you can’t leave your home while your baby is sleeping, you can still take advantage of that time block by doing something together.

What to do when spending time together?

Once you have found a common time block to spend together, the next thing is to figure out what to do with that block. The following ones are something we have done and enjoyed quite a bit.

  1. A relaxing moment

Order a treatment in the closest massage parlour. For instance, we booked a time in a Chinese massage parlour sometime ago and enjoyed it a lot.

In addition, you can try other relaxation and massaging techniques and decide what you enjoy the most.

For example, my wife is a Shindo (a Japanese relaxation method) masseuse so at times she might give me a treatment while I give her a treatment in return. We enjoy this quite a bit and are very relaxed after a treatment.

In general, a gentle massage is a great way to relax and spend time together. Highly recommended!

  1. Dining in a restaurant

On the first weekend of every month we go to eat in a restaurant. This gives us a pleasant break into the typical daily routine that we have for the rest of the month (eating at home).

Good food, good drinks and good conversations – that’s what make the dining out an enjoyable experience.

  1. Theatre or movies

Sometimes you can entertain yourself by going to the theather or movies. For example, just recently when my wife had a birthday, we went to a theatre to watch a play.

If theatre is not your thing, find a movie that you like and actually go to the movie theatre to watch it. Especially if the movie is a good one, you can have many enjoyable moments together.

  1. Going for a walk together

Sometimes just taking a walk in the nature is all that’s needed for a quality moment together. Especially if the weather is OK, just go to the park or forest nearby (if there is a one where you live) and enjoy the company of your spouse and the nature.

  1. Have a romantic night

If you can take your baby to your babysitter, you can spend time together in your own home.

Go to a bath, have a nice romantic dinner or spend some intimate time together. Whatever it is, this is a very nice way to dedicate your time to each other for a moment.

When you child/children grows bigger, you can do this same but in an overnight hotel setting.

We haven’t still done so, because our son is so young. However, I know that we are going to do this when he is older.

  1. Yearly planning

Twice a year, me and my wife take an afternoon off and head to a location (like the local spa, summer cottage …) where we can focus on our future a bit.

We like to do yearly planning twice a year. The first session is in January and the second one is in July.

What we do in these sessions is that we plan our year ahead: what we want to do and achieve. After our planning, we have a dinner together.

Doing some planning is a fine way of spending time: Not only are you planning your year and what you want, but you can also learn what you spouse wants to achieve.

Conclusion

Spending one-on-one time with your spouse is very important when it comes to keeping your relationship healthy and alive. At the same time, we are so sucked into our work and other activities, that this part of our relationship is often neglected.

From now on, make a priority to schedule time together with your spouse. It’s an investment that always pays back by increased happiness and well-being in your relationship and in your family.

Your next tasks:

1. Put this blog post into action!

  • Schedule regular times when you can spend time together
  • Plan ahead what you are going to do when you are with each other
  • Make the necessary babysitting arrangements well in advance

2. Share your experiences and tips on the comment area:

  • How do you find mutual time together?
  • How do you spend time together?

3. Spread the word:

  • I would appreciate it if you share this post on Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus, LinkedIn or on BizSugar (click the vertical share bar on the left).
About Timo Kiander

My name is Timo Kiander aka Productive Superdad.

I want to show you how to improve your productivity when working at home and find time for the fun stuff in your life!